Fred R. Conrad/The New York TimesFlorence Fabricant gives advice on the fine points of entertaining at home and eating in restaurants. Have a dining dilemma? Ask FloFab.
I like to cook and I like to have dinner parties. Generally, if I have guests whose adventurous eating quotient isn’t known to me, I ask if they have allergies or food aversions. Sometimes I am asked in response, “Well, what are you having?” Am I right in thinking this cheeky? Or am I stupid for asking?
It’s very considerate of you to ask about food allergies and, of course, in so doing you have opened the door to the follow-up question of what are you serving. You can get out of that just by saying, “Well, I haven’t decided, but I was just checking to see if there is anything I shouldn’t serve.”
I went to dinner with a friend at a restaurant that I frequent often. We take turns paying, and it was his turn to pay. As we were getting up to leave, I noticed that the tip was not nearly enough, but I didn’t say anything since I didn’t want to embarrass my friend. I considered going back to the restaurant the next day, but I wasn’t sure how to explain the awkwardness of the situation. How should I have handled this? And how can I prevent this from happening?
I think your only option is to be frank and upfront, and suggest a bigger tip to your friend. But think twice about it if that is going to ruin the friendship. Perhaps throw an extra 10 spot down on the table after your friend gets up.
My sister-in-law, who in most respects has excellent taste, is prone to misjudgments about food — and to sharing her opinions unasked. On more than one occasion, while dining with her, my husband and I have been forced to hear, “Well, this is O.K., but it’s not amazing.” This is particularly annoying when we have cooked that dish or have chosen to order it at a restaurant. How do I tell my sister-in-law that her opinion will certainly be solicited when necessary, but unless the dish is truly terrible she would do well to keep her negativity to herself?
When your sister criticizes food that you have prepared, perhaps you should ask her how she would improve it, and say you would be delighted to try her suggestions next time. As for restaurant food, everybody’s entitled to an opinion. You might like it; you might not. She might like it; she might not. There’s no way to resolve this. For people interested in food, some of the fun of dining out is taking your personal microscope to what’s on your plate, and expressing opinions — though if somebody’s opinions are consistently negative, there’s something wrong. How does your sister feel about your wardrobe?