Jane SandersMy mother-in-law’s turkey dinners are less than stellar. Alas, we will travel there again this year. Can you help me persuade her to let me do the cooking, please?
The idea that you’ll take complete control of the meal while you’re a guest in her house is probably a nonstarter. You’re better off trying baby steps, and offering to help out rather than attempting to take over. The easiest route might be to appoint your husband as your envoy. He could tell his mother that to save your marriage, she has to let you do some of the cooking, since you love to be in the kitchen. If that seems a little extreme, he could make a case that your assistance would reduce her workload.
If she’s still unwilling, he might mention that you had just cooked something so drop-dead fabulous that he insists it be on the table, and of course you’d be happy to prepare it again. To further blunt the impact of your mother-in-law’s less-than-stellar cooking, and your heartfelt wish that she do none of it, you might suggest that she ask some other guests to contribute to the feast.
It’s the unusual host or hostess at this holiday who will refuse to let anybody help, at least by bringing a dish. But be careful how far you push. Whether or not she cooks like April Bloomfield, this lady is part of your family. Thanksgiving is not worth ruining a relationship, although that hasn’t stopped people from trying.
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